Comments on: Online Book of Remembrance

By: Leonne Griggs

Leonne Griggs — Thu, 31 Aug 2023 17:40:20 +0000

In reply to Carola. Great thoughts Carola-Thankyou

By: Dorothy Griggs and Jenny Langley

Dorothy Griggs and Jenny Langley — Thu, 31 Aug 2023 16:26:08 +0000

We have such fond memories of our visits to Ashford and Dover to see Hazel and all the family. Our love to you all.

By: Karunadhara Clive Fletcher

Karunadhara Clive Fletcher — Thu, 31 Aug 2023 14:18:22 +0000

I first met Hazel when Keith brought her to a local restaurant where I was playing jazz. It was wonderful to meet her. She came several times to hear te music and have a meal. Often, when Keith came to meet her in Dover we all got together in the apartment she shared with Min. She was an amazing person. I will miss her.

By: keith

keith — Mon, 21 Aug 2023 19:29:31 +0000

This was the eulogy I gave at the Crematorium

Beloved Family and friends,

We are here to celebrate a life well-lived, a life that touched many, a life that embodied love, laughter, and unlimited kindness.
She was the embodiment of love in its purest form. Even in the last weeks of her life, when faced with overwhelming challenges, her spirit remained untamed, her love undiminished. I had the blessing of spending much of those final weeks by her bedside, and even though she was grappling with rapidly declining health, she was radiant with gratitude, love, and an infectious joy.

She was never a particularly funny person. I don’t think I remember her telling any jokes right up to a few weeks ago, when she suddenly transformed into an amazing comic. She said things like: “I have a numb bum. That rhymes. I must be a poet.” And when presented with sausages for lunch in hospital she cheekily shouted out “I don’t want sausages, bring me champagne”. When finding out she was dehydrated she said “I am dehydrated because Min does not give me enough beer”. Then she told me she was hoarding the bed pans under her sheet, and was going to sell them. I thought I would humour her, so I said “OK then”, then she looked at me with a twinkle in her eye and said “Do you believe me” and laughed.

She asked me how I felt visiting her. Happy? Sad? Entertained? I gave her the honest answer that I felt entertained. I just felt drawn to be with her in those final weeks.

Another time she was starting to moan about something, then stopped herself, and muttered “Only positive thoughts”.

Her biggest concern, was for us. When she found out she was going to die she instructed me very slowly and deliberately “If I die, do not cry,”. She said that several times. She also told me she wanted her funeral to be a happy affair, with people celebrating her life. She did not want us to be sad. She wanted us to remember her for her love, her laughter, and the countless good times.

It is not always easy though. As Kahlil Gibran put it “But if in your fear you would seek only love’s peace and love’s pleasure, Then it is better for you that you cover your nakedness and pass out of love’s threshing-floor, Into the seasonless world where you shall laugh, but not all of your laughter, and weep, but not all of your tears.”

What the past few weeks have offered us is a unique window into the depths of my mother’s soul — the deep reservoirs of love, peace, and letting go. Her declining health and the confusion it brought only served to highlight the core of who she truly was. She would call over nurses, not for assistance, but to express her heartfelt gratitude. She also invited one of the doctors to her 100th birthday party she was planning in a posh hotel.

The medical teams at both the hospital and the hospice were amazing. They saw the remarkable woman we knew and loved, treating her with kindness, gentleness, and humour that she so appreciated. When one of the nurses found out that my mother used to be a nurse, she started to call my mum “Matron”, as their private joke together.

It was the perfect way for her to die. Surrounded by family, and dying in her sleep with Min at her side.

These last few weeks have been an explosion of energy and emotion. I have reconnected with long lost friends and family. Some of whom I have not seen for over 50 years.

One of my Facebook friends reminded me before she died that this was such a precious time, as I could remind her of all the amazing things that she has done for me. I tried to do that. But there just too many. I could barely scratch the surface. And she then started telling me all the things that I had done for her.

It’s been said that “Grief is unexpressed love.” I have found that to be very true. I went all out for trying my best to express my love to her in her final weeks, and I felt it coming back from her into an expanding spiral. Another saying I was working with is from the Native American tradition which is “Today is a good day to die as all things in my life are complete”. I changed this around to “Today is a good day for my Mother to die as all things in her life are complete”.

Thank you Mother, for everything. You are, in my opinion, the best Mother in the world, and I still feel your presence shining strongly in my heart. Rest in peace.

By: Rachel Gorman (nee Frost)

Rachel Gorman (nee Frost) — Mon, 21 Aug 2023 08:02:37 +0000

On the day that my Auntie Hazel is laid to rest I am fondly remembering her as a big part of my life while growing up. We would meet up for family occasions and Hazel and Jack would regularly visit us at Peckham Rye when having dental treatment from her brother, Peter Frost (my dad). The Christmas visits to Holly Trees were memorable because I would try and be brave and stroke the poodles but much preferred looking at the guinea pigs (less scary). When I was pregnant with my first child, Hazel was always on the other end of the phone for reassurance thanks to her midwifery skills. Hazel was all about her family and that is something I will always admire. Memories of Hazel, her values and love are a real lasting legacy which she leaves for us all. Xxx

By: Michelle

Michelle — Sun, 20 Aug 2023 22:03:32 +0000

Hazel was my Nana (Mickey McKerrow) sister. My mums Aunt.
What a wonderful, beautiful, polite, sweet lady. We lived apart, but we kept in touch often.
Her last message to me was -‘in life, you have to be happy otherwise you will be consumed by grief’ she told me she enjoyed every, minute of her life and that she has been blessed with Min looking after her. She told me she didn’t bother with cream, just losts of perfume – as I asked her what her secret was.

A truly inspirational soul.

By: Wilf Frost

Wilf Frost — Sat, 19 Aug 2023 19:42:49 +0000

Hazel was my Auntie. My Dad (Peter Frost) is her younger brother. I have many memories of going to Holly Trees , usually around Christmas, but for other big family events including Hazel and Jacks wedding anniversary, and also to say goodbye to my Grandad Leslie Frost (who Hazel nursed and he died at Holly Trees.) I can also remember being petrified of the poodles, who used to bark at me. Thanet and Argos.
Since I was a small boy I can always remember Hazel walking around with a crutch or her famous brick contraption that helped her climb stairs, and also I think she used it to help drive her Jaguar. She always had an interest in art and came to most of my exhibitions. This really meant a lot to me, it was lovely to get that support. I feel like I had a special bond with auntie Hazel and was really pleased I got to have a video call with her a few weeks before she died, and me, my Dad and siblings saw her a few hours before she died at Pilgrims hospice. She looked very peaceful. I got to hold her hand and tell her that I loved her, which was very comforting for me. She will definitely be remembered in our household by me Mandy Isaac and Allie xx

By: CHRISTINE

CHRISTINE — Sat, 19 Aug 2023 09:01:15 +0000

We moved into our home in Kennington in 1987 after a long journey with 2 young children, my mother -in-law (who had come to help) and 2 goldfishes in tow. It wasn’t long before there was a knock at the door – Jack introduced himself and Hazel on her behalf. They welcomed us to our new home and invited us all to lunch. It was an unbelievably kind gesture which has stuck in my memory.
The children knew them as Auntie Hazel and Uncle Jack. Both were always ready to offer advice and help to us as parental figures. Hazel even saved one Christmas for us! One Christmas Eve my freezer full of Christmas food broke down. Panicking, I phoned Hazel. She offered the use of her chest freezer in the garage. The boys and their friends formed a chain back and forth carting everything across the road. They thought it great fun. For me it was sheer relief. Thank you, Hazel!
Hazel was a great source of local information too e.g. handymen. She gave us the name of a retired white goods repair man who then fixed the freezer for a minimal fee and it is still going in our garage!
Conversations with her were always interesting and informative; her knowledge of local history and her tales about her personal experiences during World War 2 really captured our imagination, especially for my younger son who at the time was doing a project. She was also able to direct us for further help from other local people.
Despite her disability she had a real zest for life and a great sense of humour. She was interested in so many things, had been an active campaigner on local affairs and cared deeply about wildlife, turning her garden into a wonderful habitat. She even referred to her slugs as her pets. We knew our pet hamsters and goldfishes would have a lovely stay and be spoilt across the road whenever we went on holiday!
Although she hadn’t seen our boys for some time, she always maintained an interest in them and followed their journeys in life.
Many years ago, when we visited Hazel and Jack in Dover, she mentioned they were having to order a Christmas cake. It was time for me to repay them. From then on, they received a home-made cake right up until Christmas 2022.
Hazel, you were an extraordinary, grand old lady and I shall miss you and making your cake.

By: Carola

Carola — Thu, 17 Aug 2023 13:05:24 +0000

There are so many nice and funny incidents with Hazel, with Jack and with Min that it is difficult to choose which to describe here. If I remember correctly, my late husband Heinz-Theo Nathan went on a school exchange from Bad Münstereifel to a school in Ashford/Kennington in 1973 and ended up with the Griggs family. Keith Griggs also came to Weilerswist, where the Nathans lived at the time. Since then, the Griggs family has had a connection with the Nathan family, which has resulted in many visits by Hazel, Jack, Min and Hazel’s friend Eileen to Bonn, Berlin and Duisburg, and return visits by the Nathan and Uebe families.
All the visits were special, but we remember the following events in particular: When Hazel and Eileen visited Bonn in 1986, we really wanted to show them the Drachenfels mountain near Bonn. We took the cogwheel railway to the top and wanted to walk back – and underestimated the steep path: we held the wheelchair with four hands so that Hazel would not have an accident. She only said afterwards – in her inimitable way – that she had enjoyed the adventure.
When Heinz-Theo and I went to Kenningten to explore the English south coast on our bikes, we had to break off the tour: It had rained on St. Swithin’s Day, and rained continuously the days after. We arrived back in Kennington on a Sunday without giving any notice. Hazel didn’t comment much on this; food was ordered and everyone was happy.
Hazel and Jack also visited Alice and I in Berlin in 2003. We had previously been to a performance at the Globe Theatre in London and then flew to Berlin with both of them. They stayed in Alice’s flat at the time and we stayed in Alice’s little house in the allotment. From Berlin we went on many tours, for example to Potsdam, Dresden and Frankfurt on the Oder. From Frankfurt we were able to cross a bridge to Słubice in Poland; we pushed Hazel there in a wheelchair. When we got over there, we took a taxi to the so-called Polish Market, which Hazel and Jack wanted to visit.
Hazel’s foldable wheelchair went in the boot; when we got out, we forgot to take the foot parts with us; Polish people were kind enough to follow the taxi and stop it: What luck!
And a phrase of Hazel’s has entered our vernacular: Darling, have you seen a comb today? That’s what she said to Jack when his hair was a bit tangled on his head.
We both, Alice and Carola, think of Hazel often these days, of you, the Griggs family and of Min. We will light a candle for her at her funeral and remember the many beautiful encounters that connect us and you.

By: Richard Y Ball

Richard Y Ball — Tue, 15 Aug 2023 20:04:15 +0000

Although I have not seen her for several decades, I have happy memories of Hazel. I always found her a very caring, considerate and kind person, unfailingly charming and hospitable. I remember well many weekends playing ‘Nav War’, ‘Diplomacy’, etc., with Geoffrey and other school friends at their home in Kennington. I was always made welcome and felt relaxed and at home.

I also have vivid memories of chats I had with her, particularly when she came to Charing to paint in our garden. I was even stimulated to try my hand at oil painting (but not successfully!). Hazel always came across as civilised, somebody who talked to young people in an adult sort of way and seemed genuinely interested in what they thought and said. Her comments were positive and encouraging.

I also remember that my late parents were fond of her and enjoyed her company. They spent many happy hours together and with Jack, too, of course.

I am sure that she will have left very positive marks on many people – family and friends – and will live in happy memory for a long time. May she now rest in peace.